MARCH, 27,2005 ): UNFORGETTABLE :(

I KNOW EVERYBODY HAVE PLENTY OF UNFORGOTTABLE MEMORIES, BUT DO YOU HAVE THAT ONE THAT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET RATHER IT WAS A GOOD ONE OR BAD ONE OR BOTH? WELL TODAY IM HERE THE LET YOU IN ON WHY MARCH 27TH 2005 WAS SUCH AN UNFORGETTABLE DAY FOR ME. MY BIG BROTHER RICARDO JOHN HUDSON JR WAS MURDER. IT WAS EASTER THAT DAY IN 2005, I WAS UPSTAIRS WITH MY NEPHEW ON MY MOMS BED WHEN THE TELEPHONE RANG, SO I ANSWERED IT THE PERSON ON THE PHONE SOUNDED FINE UNTIL MY MOM GOT THE PHONE AND THE PERSON ON THE OTHER END SAID YOUR SON MAY HAVE BEEN SHOT! THE EXPRESSION AND THE WAY THAT MY MOM LOOKED AT ME WILL NEVER LEAVE FROM MY MEMORY. THE LOOK WAS AS IF SHE ALREADY KNEW SHE HAD LOST APART OF HER WHICH WAS SO HARD TO ACCEPT AND STILL IS. THIS MARCH OF 09 WILL MAKE FOURS YEARS THAT MY BROTHER HAS BEEN DECEASED, I LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM SO MUCH AND ALWAYS WILL. MY BROTHER LEFT BEHIND ONE CHILD MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE NIECE RICKEA JANAI HUDSON WHO IS 8 SHE IS ALSO MY HEART BESIDES MY MOM. AFTER A WEEK OR MORE OF HAVING PEOPLE COME TO MY HOUSE TO HELP US GRIEVE AND FOR THE BURIAL SERVICES I THANK EVERYONE SO MUCH. AT THE END OF THE DAY THAT WAS A WAKE UP CALL FOR ME AS SAID "HERE TODAY GONE TOMMOROW." THATS WHY IF IM MAD AT SOME ONE OR THEY MAD I TRY MY BEST TO WORK THINGS OUT BECAUSE I DONT HATE ANYONE I MAY DISLIKE YOU BUT THATS IT! QUOTED "NEVER TAKE ANY ONE OR LIFE FOR GRANTED" SHANA LAYE!

RASICM WITH IN MY RACE!

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU'VE DONE AND SAID TO YOURSELF "I MESSED UP BIG TIME." WELL NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT MY RACE HAS IT BAD WHEN IT COMES TO COMPLEXTION(COLOR OF YOUR SKIN) WHY IS IT THAT IT MATTERS WHAT COLOR I AM? IM A HUMAN BEING JUST LIKE YOU. YOU KNOW I USE TO THINK THAT IT WAS OTHER RACE OUT SIDE OF MINE BUT I SEE THAT ITS BOTH. BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING I SEE IT ALOT WITH IN MY RACE AND FOR WHAT. YES I AM AN AFRICAN AMERICAN BUT IM JUST A DARKSKIN VERSION OF AN AFRCIAN AMERICAN IM (PRETTI CHOCOLATE) AND PROUD OF IT! AS MY MOM ALWAYS TELL ME YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF OR WHO WILL, IF YOU DONT LOVE WHO YOU ARE THEN START! I CANT IMAGINE NOT LOVING MYSELF EVEN THOUGH I KNOW PEOPLE WHO ARE REAL UNHAPPY WITH WHO THEY ARE. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING I LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY AND I PROMISE YOU THAT, ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL BELIEVE THAT. AS QUOTED "NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER." THAT PHRASE IS SO TRUE BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT WANT ANYBODY TO JUDGE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR SKIN COLOR OR YOUR HAIR TEETH FACE ANY DISABLITIES ECT. ONE OF MY FAVORITE PHRASE'S ARE "NO BODY IS PERFECT."SO THINK AND WATCH WHAT YOU SAY TO SOMEBODY BEFORE YOU SAY IT. REMEBER "GOD DONT LIKE UGLY BUT HE'S DANG SURE NOT CRAZY ABOUT BEAUTY." (SHANA LAYE)